“Happiness is a state of mind. It’s just according to the way you look at things.” – Walt Disney –
Truth is this: for a significant part of my life, I was feeling miserable, sometimes overwhelmingly overthinking every single detail in my life. This combined with my affection for depressive music (listen to this Ryan Adams’ CD if you’re ever in the mood, but keep the razors out of your reach).
Worrying is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do but it does not get you anywhere.
After I met my significant other and I observed her completely different view on life, something inside me changed and made me alert to good things in my life and feeling gratitude.
So, looking back I remember my biggest influence factors that often pulled me down:
1. focusing on negativity.
Something bad happens to you and although it might be total coincidence, you keep going over and over again why this is just happening to you. Sorry, but the world does not revolve around you – although it surely sometimes feels like it. Sometimes, and I learnt that from my wife and one of my best friends – it’s best to just let go of things you can’t change, better to not get stuck on things that are outside of your reach. Be naive, look straight ahead.
2. remembering the past and wondering about future.
When you’re studying like a maniac (well I didn’t), it’s easy to get lost in the uncertainty of life and what might me coming to you. At the same time, you’re looking back at “good old times”, getting sad about having less time, less freedom and friends that you lost sight of. Problem is that you’re wasting a buttload of time overthinking about things that are not alterable anymore and won’t make your life better while you’re reminiscing. Also, why waste too much time about the future when a big part is outside of what you can influence. Live the moment, as stupid as it sounds. Otherwise soon you’ll be looking back realising that you lost precious moments.
3. listening to depressive music.
Sad music about dead people and about people that are madly in love but don’t get anything back is pulling you down, no doubt about it. Well, no advice here, I still love that type of music although I can’t refer to it anymore. Again, listen to Ryan Adams and thank me later.
4. comparing your life to others.
That is something I can still refer to. Following quite a big number of travel blogs, you have to really try hard to not feel bad if you see all those awesome people that had the guts to quit their job at twenty something and are now travelling the world and meanwhile getting paid for it. Same happens if you watch videos on youtube like People Are Awesome, amazing to watch for some time until it hits you “what am I doing with my life” having the same day-to-day routine over and over again. Here it helps to distance myself from them, you never know what is going on in another person’s life, not everything is as it seems. Be careful what you wish for and stay humble and grateful with what is good in your life.
5. making things more complicated than they actually are.
We all know this and probably the majority is actively overcomplicating their life. What helps me the most (I learnt this from a very wise person) – not saying I’m successful every time – is asking myself “is this making me feel better and does it really matter?” The answer in most cases will be “no”. If so, minimize the time complaining about it. Nobody expects you to just overcome everything in an instant, but as I said somewhen before, the best is to give your fucks whenever they are really deserved.
Saying this, enjoy the rest of your day and make it a great one.